I don’t look back on my schooling and instantly think of being bullied, but maybe that is my mind shutting it out to some extent. Bullying isn’t always obvious, it can be physical or it can be cyber or it can be psychological or a mix of all of the above. It doesn’t always have to be intended, or obvious, or even elicited by enemies.. In retrospect, I was bullied. I received constant negative insults, remarks, comments, gossiping etc by the people who I wanted to be appreciated by the most; my friends.
And in saying so, I cannot say I have never bullied someone else, as I am unsure of how my own actions may have affected or had been perceived by someone else. I know in my own mind that I never went out to insult or directly hurt someone else, but this doesn’t mean that a mindless “joke” or remark I have ever made, hasn’t been taken in a way which was misintended. This is the exact reason why I now aim at being the kindest, nicest and most understanding person I can be. Because we just don’t know how our actions or words can influence others. I would also like to use this little paragraph to apologise to ANYONE who I have ever miscommunicated with, said something that hurt you or “joked” about something that made you insecure or self conscious.. No one deserves that.
I am still friends with those people today. As I do believe people can change, as we do all learn lessons, grow and mature through our own experiences and time. Believing that we don’t would be contradictory as I know for sure that I have grown and changed a lot because of what I have or haven’t been through in my life. Or even things I have witnessed happening to others and how it affected THEM.
And I still get "bullied" even now. The "hate" I get on social networking can at times be so disgusting and degrading. The difference is now there is so very little of it that really hurts me. You can read about some of the strategies I use for bullying and cyberbullying below. The worst thing is that each time I get hate, it still shocks me how horrible people can be and the lengths they will go to.
Love and light,
Sjana x